I named my blog, "Do you know what your problem is" as a responce to being asked that question. The set-up for this was a few weeks ago. I have had an extremely emotionally challenging year, details of which never really need to see the light of day. Quilting and sewing are cathartic to me, as I am sure to many. The thing I love about quilting is there are many different forms it can take as an art form. I am still finding where I fit in. I am known to start projects, reach a certain point and drop them to move on to the next project. Basically, I am a good starter but once I have learned whatever technique I was after, I often move on to the next project without finishing. For reasons unknown to me, this really bugs people. I don't get why. They have zero investment in whether or not I ever finish anything. So, I had this pin wheel baby blanket top pieced. It didn't actually start as a baby blanket. I was tring to learn pin wheels. While working on this project, I found out my mother was sick with mesothelioma. If you are unfamiliar, it's an incurable cancer cause by exposure to asbestos. This was 2008. I found I just couldn't finish that quilt. I had intended to give it to my mother but ultimately cut short the project and left it baby quilt size. So it sat for a couple of years. This winter 2010 I decided to finish some UFOs because I wanted to master using the quilt frame and machine that have been collecting dust for 3 years. That baby blanket was an obvious choice to complete even though I have no plans to give it to anyone. I had a lot of fun quilting this little blanket. I tried out some different designs instead of just stippling over the whole thing. I really put some thought into the quilting. I was ultimately pretty happy with the quilt. About the time I finished the quilt, my family and I went to NC to visit my parents. The visit was a huge let down. I really had high hopes of spending some quality sewing time with my mom, creating something memorable. Sadly, she felt poorly the whole time we were there. I had my suspicions but it wasn't until we got back home that test confirmed my moms "cured" incurable cancer was in fact back. Devestating news. So, I have known this about 18 hours when Aunt D walks into my house, looks at that baby quilt and proceeds to demand of me "Do YOU know what YOUR problem is!??" In the world according to Aunt D, my problem would be too much attention to "stinking detail". You see, she is a quilter and she busts out dozens a year. Which is just fine but not necessarily the kind of stuff I want to create and I most assuredly don't want her loud and vocal and uninvited critiques of my quilts the day after I find out my mother is dying! I just sat dumbfounded and mute. I have never said a word.

How I got here

Since I was in my twentys I have said that when I grow up, I am going to quilt. Back then I felt too incompetant and unstable to create. Both of my grandmother's were quilters. My mom's mom, Bertha was a beautiful hand quilter. She made the tiniest little stitches you have ever seen. It is hard to believe those beautiful stitches were made by hand. She only made a handful of quilts and sadly most of them are in sad shape today.

My dad's mom, Mable, is also a quilter, though today she is too arthritic to quilt. I don't think she ever made me a quilt but she did make a beautiful satin and velvet quilt that I coveted through my twenties. One day my grandfather gave me that quilt. That really pissed my grandmother off and even though I knew she was angry about giving the quilt up to me, I wanted it so much I took it anyway.

Just as well now anyway. Now she has been put into a nursing home and all of her quilts distributed amoung the family. The ceiling in her old home still has the hooks in the ceiling where the ladies would hang the quilt rack and sit around quilting each others quilts. Times have sure changed.

I now have in my possession just about every quilt made by my grandmothers and a couple made by my great grandmothers. I treasure these links to my past though I am saddened that I never got to learn about sewing from any of them. I would like to have known the stories behind the quilts. The stories of their lives when they were creating these quilts.

My favorite of all the quilts is the unfinished one made by Bertha. The quilt is called the Wedding Wreath, no not the double wedding ring. This is hand appliqued circle of green leaves with pink flowers and embroidered vines. Unfortunately, Bertha never finished this quilt. This quilt was to be a wedding gift for my mother. If this quilt ever hopes to be completed it will have to be by me. Now the question is, can I finish it while my mother is still alive? Also, am I capable of completing the quilt? Bertha did everthing by hand. I do everything by machine. Is there away to blend the past with the modern?

I always said I would quilt when I was more grown up. Apparently, grown-up was about 5 years ago when I decided to take a quilting class even though I didn't own a sewing machine or have a clue how to sew. 5 years later, I am hooked. Still much to learn though. Still searching for my creative voice.